31 Mar 2012
pdlambPosted under Musings
On Thursday the flu rolled over me. Headaches, chills, body aches, the lot. I felt like a cardboard cutout of myself lying on the highway being run over by trucks. Consequently, on Friday, I stayed home from work, hoping to feel better. The hope was not realised so, in the afternoon, I lay down to watch a movie on TV. Did it make me feel better? No!
The movie itself was okay. They made it stretch out to three hours and stuffed it with ad breaks. And what do you think was the subject of most of the advertisements? Funeral plans. Yes, that’s right. Funeral plans. What does that say about the audience for Channel Seven’s weekday afternoon movies? Some have the flu. But most are old.
If I was old and watching afternoon TV regularly, the last thing I’d want to see is ads for funeral plans. How depressing! And the people on the ads – earnest, dull, going nicely grey on top. Just watching them is enough to make you want to roll over and die. I suppose insurance companies get to the point where there isn’t much to be gained from flogging life insurance to people who are getting close to The End. And death is the big inevitable, isn’t it?
Personally, I’m all for a cardboard coffin and a packet of Textas, so people can say what they really feel, and spend all the money on booze and a good feed. Plus a weekend at Byron Bay for my family so they can throw my ashes over the cliffs at the lighthouse - taking careful note beforehand of the way the wind’s blowing. I’ve never been an in-your-face kind of mother so I’d hate to break the habit of a lifetime.
And here’s a question. Can a dog sense when you’re sick? At bedtime my dear old girl Louie refused to go outside to sleep, as she does every other night. She spent the night outside my bedroom door. I was having those weird fever dreams and kept waking up. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom, or get a drink of water, or take some painkillers, there she was. She made me feel so much better.
23 Mar 2012
pdlambPosted under Musings
I have a little fish pond in the courtyard outside my bedroom window. Generations of gold fish have grown up in the pond, their lives interrupted only by the occasional enterprising kookaburra after a free feed. In the summer it is the home of a striped marsh frog, small in size but good at announcing his presence to the world. I assume it is a boy frog and his call is intended to attract girl frogs to his groovy pad. The call of the striped marsh frog is like a regular hiccup. Once you become used to it, the hiccup lulls you to sleep every night only to wake you suddenly when it stops. After a series of rainy nights, my frog is joined by another and their joyful hiccuping is added to the sounds of a wet night.
Every now and then the pond gets choked with dead leaves and I have to clean it out. I set myself up with a bucket, get down on my knees and dig in. Up comes black sludge from the bottom and the water becomes thick with suspended silt. Do the fish mind? Not a bit of it. The dirtier the better seems to be the gold fishes’ motto.
One time I was feeling around in the pond when I felt something hard and smooth. I grabbed hold of it and pulled it to the surface. Through the soupy water I could see something white and shiny. At first I thought it might be the skeleton of something that had fallen into the pond. I pulled a bit more. The thing I was holding resolved itself into a foot. A small, white human foot.
My mind recoiled. What the heck was it? Then I thought, ‘Didn’t I used to have a cherub statue that lay on the side of the pond? My daughter bought it for me years ago. It matched the other cherub statue that the tree loppers smashed to pieces. My little cherub must have fallen in the water and I hadn’t noticed. I pulled the cherub out of the water, hosed it off and looked for somewhere else to put it. I didn’t want to risk forgetting about it again and have to go through the spooky experience of pulling a baby’s foot out of my fish pond.
16 Mar 2012
pdlambPosted under Musings
So far in my life I have subscribed to only two universal truths. But this week I have added a third.
My first Truth is: Never wake a sleeping baby. Just don’t, okay? If you wake one up you will live to regret it. Who hasn’t had a child fall asleep for ten minutes in the back of the car and then wake up the minute you try to move it into the house. From then on the child acts like a wound up toy that won’t rest until you wrestle it into bed so early you know you’ll have a pre-dawn wake-up call the following morning.
Number two is: Nobody ever wins in Afghanistan. From the British Empire to the Coalition of the Willing (or Coalition of What the Hell are we Doing Here?) nobody has ever won a war in that place. The USSR sent troops in there in the 1970s and they came out addicted to cocaine. And why the heck do people want fight over it anyway? It doesn’t look like the sort of place you’d choose for the holiday of a lifetime.
This week I have discovered a new Truth which I learned when I bought myself a Kindle. It is: No electronic device or piece of software can be activated without a 16 digit code. Yeah? So what is it with the 16 digits? Did someone work out how many combinations of numbers and letters the world needed to supply a new code to every potential customer of electronic devices and software for ever and ever? Did that person then decide the minimum number of digits per code had to be 16? Didn’t that person realise that eventually (and probably not that far away) all we will have to do is blink or cough or say our name and our new gadget will magically turn on by itself?
My bet is the creator of the 16 digit code was a cranky designer with an alcohol problem and a rage against humanity who decided one Friday afternoon, to make everyones’ lives as difficult as possible. It was probably the same guy who decided to put no instructions with anything any more which means you have to go on line and watch videos in order to work out how to use the thing you’ve just managed to unlock with your 16 digit code.
Yes, I did get the Kindle to work. Eventually. And, yes, I do like it.
10 Mar 2012
pdlambPosted under Musings
One Saturday morning a couple of weeks ago my neighbour called across the fence to ask if I wanted to go to a handbag party. Her daughter Kerry was having a party that morning and most of her friends had phoned to say they couldn’t make it. I am not really a handbag person. Once I find a bag I like I keep on using it until it falls apart. But it was another steamy February day and the choice between staying home and doing the housework or having a shower and going out was not a hard one to make.
There was a good selection of bags and, of course, I bought one. I waited my turn to place my order with Karla, the demonstrator. She wrote down the bag I wanted and started to fill in my details.
‘Name?’
‘Pamela.’
She wrote it down.
‘Surname?’
‘Lamb’
Her pen stopped moving. She looked up. ‘Are you kidding?’
It was a look of shock. I am used to people being amused by my name but I’ve never seen that reaction before.
‘I’m a Lamb,’ she said finally.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ I said. ‘There aren’t too many of us around.’
Still that strange look. ‘I’ve got an aunt called Pamela Lamb.’
‘Where are your people from?’ I asked, to cover up the awkward silence. ‘My uncle did our family tree back to 1560 so I know we came originally from the Manchester area in the north of England.’
‘They’re from Liverpool,’ she replied.
‘Well, that’s close enough. I was born in St Helens.’ Which is about 20 minutes north of Liverpool.
Then she said, ‘My aunt went missing. Nobody knows where she is.’
And this is when things started to get weird.
‘She and her little boy were in a car my dad was driving and there was an accident,’ Karla said. ‘The little boy was killed. My aunt was injured and she wasn’t able to have any more children. Then my dad and her husband went to work in a coal mine in central Queensland and her husband was killed. Then she disappeared.’
Well, okay, sad story, I thought, but the conversation was creeping me out. Karla seemed to be waiting for me to say something. It was as if she wanted me to be her missing aunt.
‘I’m not her,’ I said, half-joking, ‘I’ve got three children.’
And then those two little words popped into my head. ‘What if?’ Two words that usually lead to two years of writing before I have worked the idea through to its conclusion.
Although I didn’t want to think about it just then, the ‘what if?’ was a woman with a totally constructed life, and a chance encounter with a stranger that leads her to question every memory she’s ever had.
But my encounter with Karla had another surprise for us both. I handed her my credit card so she could finish my order. The name on my card is Pamela D Lamb. Karla looked at me again. ‘What does the D stand for?’
‘Doreen,’ I said, ‘but don’t tell anyone.’
‘My aunt’s middle name began with a D, but it’s Diane.’
By which stage I was more than ready to jump into my neighbour’s car and be driven away. Far, far away.
Now I can’t use the bag without thinking about Karla’s story and the story I might write one day. About a woman who lost everything …
30 Nov 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
Okay, so your daughter asks a favour. Would you lay out a recipe book for her group of friends? No pressure, just needs to be printed before Christmas. Request made in September. Word documents received first week in November. Photos received a week later (thanks for nothing, Australia Post). Layout done during weekends and evenings, eyes feel like they are falling out of my head. A total of 25 hours and counting. One of the group doesn’t like my layout, so could I change it? No way! Okay, send me an editable pdf. Ha! Finally they agree on the cover design (I sent them four separate drafts) and the book is finished. Hoorah!
But, guess what? It hasn’t been proof read (should have happened before they sent me the text, yeah?) Oh, and how are we going to do that when all we have is an (uneditable) pdf? Sigh! Mark up the Word document and I’ll make the changes by hand. What’s that? You want them by Christmas? Three weeks away? And you haven’t firmed up the quote with the printer yet? And you don’t know how many copies you want? Well, good luck with that one.
What have I learned? A lot about laying out a book in Indesign. Which was great. Didn’t learn much about dealing with clients who aren’t really clients because they are getting a freebie, but insist on acting as if they are. Do it again? Not for nothing. Ever again.
11 Nov 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
What does 11th November mean to you? To me, it is a time to reflect on the lives of my grandfather and father.
My grandfather, John Hunt, was present at the Battle of the Somme in 1916. He was a conscientious objector but signed up for the Ambulance Corps when he was seventeen. With his donkey cart he made many journeys to the front line to pick up the dead and wounded.
My father, after serving in the Home Guard, enlisted as a captain in the Royal Engineers. He and his friend, Major Hugh Stevenson, took part in the D Day landings in 1944, wading ashore on the Normandy beaches in the wake of the infantry invasion.
Despite emerging unscathed, I think their war experiences affected both men for the rest of their lives.
My dad died ten years ago this year, so today I am wearing my poppy for him.
02 Nov 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
My new book The Land of the Lotus Eaters is with the printer. I have done my presentation at the Festival of Independent Writers and Publishers. Time to relax. No! My next challenge is the cook book my daughter and her friends want published in time for Christmas. This project includes page layouts and photos so it will certainly be a challenge! I am looking forward to extending my knowledge of Indesign, hopefully with good results.
Sandi and I enjoyed last weekend’s festival at Robina. It was a chance to meet new people and sell a few books, which is always a good thing. This was the first time the festival has been held and there will be another one next year. I hope I am invited back because it is a great opportunity to be part of the indie publishing scene in SE Queensland.
Heaps of work to do before I can get my books into the Amazon catalogue and onto Kindle. Kate’s cook book will slow me down but I am all for being slowed down just at the moment. It has been a hectic year so far and I am looking forward to things quietening down as we approach Christmas. Probably a vain hope. Two more markets to do this year, so fingers crossed for no rain on those two days.
17 Oct 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
Sandi and I did our usual market on Saturday. It was pouring with rain when I woke at 5 am and still raining when I arrived at the market ready to unload boxes of books. It did fine up in time for trading but we had a slow day compared with the stall on one side selling scented candles like there was no tomorrow and the stall on the other side with her fabric bags. It gave us time to reflect on the year to date and develop strategies for 2012. Actually that sounds much more businesslike than the rambling moan that made up most of our conversation.
We have decided to go digital. Not instead of books and markets but as well. I am already committed to publishing the fourth book about Briony and Gryff: The Land of the Lotus Eaters. Chris has designed the cover and it looks fabulous. So that will be our focus for the markets between now and Christmas. But I am going to make a web page and I am going to publish my back catalogue as e-books. I might even request a Kindle for Christmas so I can find out what all the fuss is about!
Lots of work to do, so my blossoming relationship with Marcus Aquila, the Roman soldier, will have to wait until the Christmas holidays. Although I did wake up at 5:45 am this morning (by mistake, I have to add) so there’s some time when I can get things done. It gets light early in Queensland during summer so why waste it?
The next challenge is the Independent Writers and Publishers Festival on Saturday 29 October at Robina on the Gold Coast. I am taking part in a forum called ‘Bringing History to Life’, talking about The Chariot Stone. I’m looking forward to it! Here’s the link: http://www.indieauthorsfestival.com/
29 Sep 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
My excuse for not posting anything for almost two months is I went to Africa. Good enough? August was taken up with getting Yellow Fever shots, sending away for my visa, sorting out clothes and getting my cameras ready for the big photo fest to come! Sandi and I did a market somewhere in the middle of all that and we had a wonderful day. The Chariot Stone was well received by a bunch of happy market-goers. Before I went away I received an email promoting the first Festival of Independent Writers and Publishers to be held at Robina on 29 October (http://www.indieauthorsfestival.com/). A bit of fast talking (and a copy of my new book) secured me a spot on a forum called Bringing History to Life. I am very excited about this festival. It seems that independent writing and publishing is finally beginning to gain acceptance as e-books take off and readers lose interest in the fare served up by commercial publishers – that is, if they can manage to find a book shop that is still open!
I spent ten days in Kenya visiting game parks and seeing the very varied scenery in and around Nairobi. Half a day’s driving can take you from dripping rainforest on Mount Kenya to semi-arid savannah in the Samburu Game Park. The animal and bird life was, of course, fantastic. We were lucky enough to see each one of the Big Five animals: elephant, rhinoceros, buffalo, lion and leopard, and a lot more besides. We even got charged by an angry hippo on Lake Naivasha, an experience we could probably have done without! We also enjoyed getting to know the Masai people who were very friendly and welcoming. Our visit to their village was one of the highlights of the trip. Of course, all good things come to an end and I flew home to a sick and dying computer, just what I need when I have a lot of work to catch up on.
The new computer is sitting in a box at home, all my data is stored safely on my external hard drive (phew!) and now I have the job of setting everything up and loading up the software I need. I am never going to take sitting down and wiggling a mouse for granted again. When it all stops happening you realise how much you rely on having everything at your fingertips. And I miss the internet – when did that get to be such an important part of my life?
The next market is on Saturday 15 October and then it will be the Indie Festival on Saturday 29 October. Did anyone say Christmas?
27 Jul 2011
pdlambPosted under Musings
It’s the end of July and a few things have been accomplished. The Chariot Stone is with the printer. Or, more truthfully, the proof of The Chariot Stone is on my kitchen bench waiting for me to finish looking at it. When it arrived yesterday the first thing I saw was a typo! NowI want to be sure there aren’t any more before I send the proof back with my tick of approval. The cover looks rather splendid. I’m very pleased with it. The Chariot Stone will be ready for the next Handmade Expo market on 20th August, which is also the market’s 3rd birthday. Should be a great day! I am giving away one copy of the new book, see The Handmade Expo’s facebook page for details: https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/handmadeexpo I am looking forward to seeing lots of excited people at the stall!
My second achievement is getting Blood on the Snow up on the EPublishing for Success website as an ebook. Here’s the link, if you want to check it out: http://www.46s.biz/Bookstore.asp This book joins A Secondhand Dreaming which is on the Smashwords site, or available from Sony, Apple, Barnes & Noble and Amazon. Ebooks are beginning to capture market share especially overseas and it’s great to be getting my books out there for more people to enjoy.
Now I am concentrating on getting The Land of the Lotus Eaters ready for printing. This is the fourth in the Briony and Gryff dragon series and there are plenty of young dragon fans eagerly awaiting the next episode of Briony and Gryff’s adventures. Sisygambis the bad fairy from The Sandalwood Box makes a reappearance in the new book. Being locked up in the museum was certainly not the end of her! I am hoping to have The Land of the Lotus Eaters on the stall in time for the October market although my upcoming holiday to Kenya might slow me down.
On a personal level, I have recently found myself the owner of a black labador called Louie. Her old family was about to expand by another baby and she needed a new home. She is a very sweet girl and I think we will get on very well. It’s nice to have another creature in the house. I don’t much care for living alone.
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